Well...this seems as good a place (a time) to start as any.
Single now as of Sunday night. Interesting experience - either I'm over it already or it hasn't hit yet. Not to say I'm made of stone or anything; I cried plenty, beforehand, and after. And I cried when he kept phoning the couple days after. And yelled. Not directly at him, but at the hung up phone.
So it seems Ian and Dell have taken it upon themselves to protect me. Monday night they abducted me from my Harry Potter game to get Teen Burgers, then a movie ("The New World" - long but sweet, bittersweet) and the obligatory cookie-dough-ice cream and chocolates. Can't say I didn't enjoy it all. Then hung out for a bit on Tuesday night, but Dell worked until 9 and I had to go home early because of morning class the next day.
And as bad as it sounds, I can't help but feel that they're acting as temporary chaperones, making sure that I don't do anything stupid. But as Jason said, it's probably just because they're worried about me, which is fine, but really I thought that's what my mom was good for - worrying and making me feel guilty for doing things that I know would worry her.
Anyways...off to class now (well, at time of writing this...). More later. Maybe. |
|
|
Sep. 3rd, 2006 @ 11:08 pm
|
|---|
Haha jesus christ what am I doing?
...
Look! a journal!
*shuffles awkwardly away*Current Mood:  chlorined Current Music: gravedigger by dave matthews band |
|
|
Apr. 18th, 2006 @ 10:16 pm
|
|---|
My printer's been, for lack of a better word, an utter dickhead. I have to do this thing for SS, what Canada means to me. More than half an hour of fiddling around with different cartridges and settings has produced:
one half decent grayscale version
One weird looking warped coloured but high quality colour (photo cartridge) version
1/2 page of previously mentioned version
2/3 page previously previously mentioned version
One lower quality greyscale version (in which 1/8 is all liney)
One version in which only the very very darkest colours made it
Poor Hawksley has never been so mangled.
Unless, y'know, he's into some kinky stuff like getting tied up or whipped or having whipped cream licked off him...which I can see him being into. And then singing about.
I know i havent written here in awhile. It's just...stupid printer makes me feel like an angsty teenager again. Also I am four tenths tired. No, I am not two fifths. One tenth.Current Mood:  canadian...walled Current Music: fly at night - chilliwack |
|
|
Feb. 4th, 2006 @ 12:26 pm
|
|---|
| Greed: | Very Low
| | | Gluttony: | Very Low
| | | Wrath: | Low
| | | Sloth: | Low
| | | Envy: | Medium
| | | Lust: | Medium
| | | Pride: | Low
| |
Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz |
|
|
Nov. 26th, 2005 @ 04:54 pm
|
|---|
Well...I'm stopping this thing.
The only people that read it are people that I'm rather adverse to sharing my thoughts with.
Maybe I'm being drastic on account of being emotional and pissed off and hungry, but even if I am being drastic, its not something that will really affect my life, is it?
"Oh no, I'm not gonna have an online journal anymore, what will my life be like, gasp!!"Current Mood: pissed off, emotional, hungry |
| » dang |
|---|
Yeah I finished my autobiography and I hate it to hell. HELL I say. I kind of started hating it from the start and at the end you might be able to tell that I just really really really wanted it to end. I left out so much about everything and goddamnit Mik9e Ruthor6ord keep
ts clickking keys he's and idiot..
yepp..
( read my autobiography now and be prepared to not care )
Nov. 25th, 2005 @ 09:44 am
|
| » thank you jack white for that fiberoptic jesus that you gave me |
|---|
Aw excellent, Memoirs of a Geisha is coming out on movie!! It looks alright, like it won't be a shame, but trailers can be decieving. Still, I'm looking forward to it. Its such an excellent book.
Uh...trying to write..my last story was a bit morbid, its actually a scene I tried to write for awhile and never got to the end of it.
All I can think about is..puppies.
heh.
Medium is getting gradually less annoying and gradually more hilarious on account of it being so silly and trying so hard and the kids are cute and the dads cool and Allison is a psycho and yells for no reason but everythings alright.
Nov. 15th, 2005 @ 06:16 pm
|
| » Novemberence day! |
|---|
My dad is listening to AC/DC's Thunderstruck downstairs.
Well last night was alright, went out there w/ lindsey, hung around, learned what I was doing wrong with Man Who Sold the World. He let me drive on the dirt road, and though he told me he wouldnt yell he did get scared, but only once or twice when he told me to put it into drive from second and I started straying off the road, as is my habit when I take one hand off the wheel to do something else.
I got my poppy yesterday! Poppy poppy poppy and of course they littered the ground after school. Then I went on the bus w/ him.
Shel's back. And probably gonna read this. Unless he's ignoring me. Whatever.
Hey now my Dad's listening to Sultans of Swing. Sweet.
Yes, whoever it was that posted that I'm too afraid of what people think is or was right, but hey, I've overcome a lot of that. A lot of what I do now I wouldn't do if I listened to social right and wrongs. Someday I'm gonna sing in public. Really loudly. And it shall be glorious.
According to Lindsey, his cousin Ben can play this entire song on guitar. That's utterly insanely insane.
Woah when did I stop using initials? Spy mode is off hahaha.
Nov. 11th, 2005 @ 10:00 am
|
| » Who is burning...who is burning...the effigy... |
|---|
I dont know why the evenings have become so meloncholy. Just about into a state of either weeping or yelling. Last night wasnt bad, I sang a lot to Lindsey, but then we talked about Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain and that was a bad note to end on. He thinks she killed him. I dont.
I tried learning Man Who Sold the World on guitar today. It's difficult for my fingers to comprehend the task I expect of them.
...I wont say it..
Nov. 8th, 2005 @ 08:57 pm
|
| » doo |
|---|
Just waiting around here for my driving instructer to show up so I can drive. My lesson is at 11 and he's usually a half hour early but so far today he has not shown up. This is vexing because I have homework and if not for the fact that I've been waiting around for him for the last 35 minutes I could have got a chunk of that stupid math out of the way. Stupid math, damn it.
Yesterday I hung out w/ Maja and watched the original Excorsist. If you're wondering, it's damn good but did not give me nightmares, just creepy flashbacks when I was playing a very disjointed hide and go seek in the dark later on with Kyle and Lindsey. Kyle is wicked awesome at that game but maybe just because I'm terible at seeking.
We also were mean to a clock.
I miss my characters. Ones like Disdain and Jack, especially. Chaos. Those three the most, I guess. They live on the faded lined paper, rotting away with only snatches of their true depth. I cant write anymore about them. Guess I could, but I've lost their essense already and soon they could be strangers. I havent opened that drawer in 5 months. Not even to peek.
Oh peters here.
Nov. 6th, 2005 @ 10:58 am
|
| » uh..yeah |
|---|
well..hey.
watching survivor.
kyle's back.
I have math homework. homowork. hah.
...
blank.
Nov. 3rd, 2005 @ 05:18 pm
|
| » no one who I'm on the good side of even reads any of these anyways jeeez |
|---|
this day's been a mix of shitty and hilarious
Y'know?
Well this morning I hear some crappy news, then I'm sort of gloomy in block A but can't help laughing at stupid rutherford, stupid everyone, everyone is so silly this year and it's lovely. Then in Math it hits me...the way to get over feeling depressed is to just shove it away inside and engage in some serious tomfoolery!!
Ok, I know, thats exactly what they tell you NOT to do, bottling things up inside, but what am I supposed to do, talk? Maja would be the only one I could talk to and she was giddy so why try to drag her out of her mood to sympathise? Man, I know I hate it when I'm in one of those great moods and someone tells me something depressing and I have to act compassionate, and then that acting turns into real compassion until I reach another high and then I feel bad for not being more compassionate. Jeffery!
Anyways, hung out w/ Lindsey after school, good times, I tried my hand at the keyboard again. I have really choppy fingering on that, lack that fluidness. fluidness? fluidity?
Shel's ran off again. I expended some of my sanity worrying, but he's at a friends and so I'm not really worried. If I went into how I feel I would start ranting...I mean, I can understand needing some space, but couldnt he just say he was going over to a friends? If he just said he going to hang out, then that wouldnt be making a scene about it, then he could stay there awhile and no one would be mad and worried. But...god, I dont know, lets talk happier.
Halloween's soon, eh, totally going as Ted!!! In his Bogus Journey clothes, they're warmer and funner. I was supposed to go to Value Village today but my mom and I decided to go tomorrow. Also, there are some pumma-kins that need attending to. Maja, obviously, will be Bill, though of course, we all know that Ted is more excellent.
Quote of the day: "My brainal fuids are all aquiver" (me)
Fun exchange of words yesterday:
Me : *whispering loudly* Jockeys eat rice
Dusty: what??
Me: what?
Dusty: Chaulky Sea Breast?
Oct. 27th, 2005 @ 08:30 pm
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
Man, so lazy. Went to the gym after school, archery tonight.
You know, sometimes you just feel so empty, and not even sad, except when you start to think about it then you think 'woah I'm acting depressed..." But you're not actually, on the inside you're still sort of dopy and laughing at stupid stuff but you just dont have to effort to actually open your mouth and force air through your lungs to laugh out loud. Then all you can manage is that little quick burst of air through your nose which is more like something a bull would make, not an amused human being.
Then you think....damn.
Oct. 26th, 2005 @ 05:39 pm
|
| » Yeah, we fly by night, it makes you feel alright, it keeps you coming back for more |
|---|
Everything lately is telling me I need to upgrade. Limewire, MSN, iTunes...jeez and I just keep pressing the "later, later later" button because I DONT WANT THINGS TO CHANGE! Picture me throwing my hands up in fists and falling on my knees as I yell that to the heavens.
*sigh*
Yeah things are a'changing. I was thinking about that a week or so ago, when I was, uh, tipsy, slightly. This isnt like me, I thought, nothing going on is really like me. Huh. Weirdddd. And y'know, part of me is liking that change. A big part of me. The other part of me is clingy and whiny and makes me read Laura Ingalls Wilder books. Little house, you know, still good except their dog Jack died and that was pretty sad but hey Pa said he went to doggy heaven so its all good right?
So far in the series I've read:
Little House in the Big Woods
Little House On the Prairie
Farmer Boy
On the Banks of Plum Creek
By the Shores of Silver Lake
The Long Winter (halfway through)
So that means I still have to read:
Little Town on the Prairie
These Happy Golden Years
The First Four Years
I remember "These Happy Golden Years" being really nice and whimsical, what with her falling in love with Almanzo and whatnot. Oh yeah, thats a spoiler isnt it. But The First Four Years, as I recall, was darker than the others. It was found after her death, though, half-edited. Plus Almanzo's name gets changed in that to "Manly" no kidding.
Walked to Rogers today to meet Maja, got Lords of Dogtown and Kicking & Screaming. K&E was alright, but a lot of it was pity-laugh inspiring. Except the Italians, they were so cute, and the scene with the team coming out covered in cow blood? Classic.
Lords of Dogtown = Excellent. Bittersweet. Jay was the best except for when he was being a slut...and that was sort of often. And uh, when he shaved off his pretty hair and got the weird tattoo. But hey I'm forgiving, so I like him anyways. Haha. Right. And Sid, Sid was so cute, just for being the underdog, off balanced, cute little guy with the puppy look. Man, if Maja weren't there, I totally would have cried... Decent Music, too.
Woah, Rush's Fly By Night, and Chilliwack's Fly AT Night, are totally totally different! Here I was thinking that one was a cover of the other. This shows my musical knowledge eh. Chilliwack is Canadian.
Oct. 18th, 2005 @ 09:35 pm
|
| » But for ships and for freedom I could diiieeee |
|---|
Uh...this is one of those days in which despite feeling totally ass-lazy I somehow have the motivation to make myself go and do things. Social things, like going to the mall and playing pool.
Yeah I went to the mall. Pool soon.
Mall = Dreary.
Quote : "Jesus is so cheesy?" "................Yes. Thats why I put him on toast " - MT
I'm really just filling up time. In fact I'm also reading stranger's LJs and playing backgammon, but you know, I'm biologically designed to multitask or else. I do not need to multitask when I'm on the phone, as long as I have a wall to poke with a pin. I've lost a pin and a nail down the side of my bed in the past few days.
Saw the new Franz Ferdinand CD today and listened to it in HMV. They sound different. Why must things change? Will probably buy it, what with kaiser chiefs being ridiculus and all.
Jeez in Backgammon this dude had got me on the rack thing 3 times, in his own home turf on the same triangle thing. All 3 times I got him back on the same place. This makes his pips go way off because he's way back at the beginning. If you dont play backgammon you probably dont know what I'm talking about. If you do play backgammon, you still probably dont know. Ah me.
I think...oh my god!!! My speakers arent echoy anymore!!!!
Out!
Oct. 14th, 2005 @ 04:07 pm
|
| » La dee da |
|---|
I've had a shower and because of a sock shortage am wearing my dad's socks. They are very thick and make my feet very warm and cozy, which leads me to question why all of my socks are super thin. Oh yeah, because then my shoes wouldnt fit.
My dads home...he was in vancouver.
Today I caught my sister wearing my skirt, and therefore I might wear it tomorrow.
I have nothing to say, hah.
Oct. 3rd, 2005 @ 05:42 pm
|
| » Antiquery! |
|---|
The highlight of my day was going to an antique fair.
..
Yes, my life is THAT exciting!
But it was alright, lots of neat stuff, lots of seniors with bad perfume, lots of tackiness and knives. I almost bought a US Marine knife. When I took it out of the sheath to inspect it (it was pretty dull, but long and thin and cool with not visible bloodstains), my mom said I was probably making people nervous. Because, you know, I'm a teenager full of homicidal intentions, you can tell because I'm so short, and short people have more hostility in their souls. It's been proven. With SCIENCE.
The best part was at one of the tables where they had CDs for a toonie each. I found and bought:
Metallica: The black album
Goo Goo Dolls: A boy named Goo
Alice in Chains: Dirt
Alice in Chains: Unplugged
My mom got 2 collective soul CDs, and the guy at the table just glanced at our 6 selections and said "alright, how's 6 for 10 bucks sound?" so in total they were less than two dollars each. I was pleased. The plastic covers are scratched somewhat, but the CDs themselves are in very good condition.
Also bought: cameo pin and french coat of arms bracelet. No knives.
The rest of the day: math homework, little house on the prairie (the book), solitaire, backgammon, skiproping, wandering. Not bad for a Sunday, but not particularly excellent either.
Oct. 2nd, 2005 @ 07:55 pm
|
| » Mmm, angsty |
|---|
I think of "angst" as more than an emotion or an excuse. It's a term so overused and exalted that it has become almost tangible. I believe, if anything, it's a heavy liquid with the consistency of thick tar. And as it goes down your throat it's terrible and ashlike and but the aftertaste is inexorably sweet. Then it lines your stomach and seeps into your heart and your lungs, an indefinate, unholy mucus. It deadens your mouth, disabling laughters. At the same time you feel an unfamiliar fascination with the trivial things in life - the sound of your teeth gnashing and chattering, the clamminess set between your toes, the way the mold feels as it grows on your moist eyeballs. All this you view with an uncanny indifference, as though it's not you, as though your body is an intimately observable experiment, the world your own petri dish. Don't you feel special?
On a quiet night, if you listen oh so carefully, you may be able to hear it go drip...drip...
Teen angst is better yet, for it requires no input and drifts in and out without cause. And we love talking about it.
.
Oct. 1st, 2005 @ 07:58 pm
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
ceriforn's journal